On writing a novel

There are all types of opinions on writing. Some authors I admire, like Irene Nemirovsky or Mario Vargas LLosa studied literature and absorbed master pieces, dissecting them and creating prose styles of their own. My father recommended I didn't do this; Most people who study literature have an occult or sometimes quite evident aspiration of becoming authors themselves. But closely studying masters usually trumps the imagination, he says, and many become easily discouraged when they start idolizing classic writers and realize they will never compare.

I realize I will never be a master. It's not an aspiration and not even a distant dream. But I do want to write, and I don't want to stop myself from doing it because of pure fear of failure. If I dont start now, I don't know If I will ever be ready. I am pretty sure I will come up with a manuscript, show it to a couple of friends and put it on a shelf, together with that cute story I wrote when I was 12 that involved all of my friends and some serious drama. I found it the other day, and it made me nostalgic. I remembered when I wrote it. It took me a couple of weeks, but I was absorbed and ready. I hadn't thought about who may read it and whether people would like it. I wrote it because it was in me; I wrote it because I enjoyed the process.

So this summer I will write. Until now I have thought a love story, as corny as that sounds, because I know love, and it is the only intense feeling I feel qualified to write about. We are in a generation with no purpose of being, with a lack of passion for life, of life-and-death drama, so we are left to ponder about our senseless relationships that we are trying to dramatize enough to fill that void that plastic lives give to us. So when I write that love story, I will let people know. maybe, who knows. But at least I know i'll be trying.