When something is really good and we know we have to give it up, we try to ruin it. It is a self-defense mechanism, so that amazing things become torture with no reason whatsoever. Just so it is easier to let go. When I had to leave Paris, I started thinking about everything I hated about that city, but it wasn't much. I magnified it though, remembering the exhuberant prices, the smelly subway, the cold mornings, the ugly parisian looks... later, when I got back to Gainesville, I remembered the good things again, and smiled.
Now it is different to remember bad things to try to trump the sadness, than to sabotage something good just because it has a deadline. That is what I try to do every time in Bogota. I think about everything I don't like about the city, the people, the life in general... and the truth is I love it. But loving it has always made leaving so much harder, that I decided to keep it neutral; to love it as a vacation spot. To never date someone here that I like too much nor find a job that I would love, nor visit my friend's universities to see if I would like them better. Having a double life means developing an ability to let go. I have it... I need to become pesimistic a few days before it's over simply to make it easier. I simply need to think that where I'm going is always better that the place i've left behind.
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