This is necessary for me every once in a while... I don't do it often, but I probably should. Since this is a personal blog and not a professional one, I guess I can write my "thoughts on pretty much everything," that including my moral doubts and cultural clashes.
Today I felt torn, and it happens usually, between my Colombian morally conservative self and my wanna-be-European liberal views. It's a constant contradiction, and I begin to wonder whether innocence is a way of living or a born-into trait. Are those who remain innocent to many of life's most hideous things staying in a house of crystal? Are those who have known the world and experienced too much, lost, forgetting their morality in the first place, finding pleasure in everyday occurrences? Do they have a meaning or do they just wonder the world, trying to find themselves and with each walking step getting even more lost? Do they know what they want? Does knowing more and experiencing more show you what you want, but what if you know it in the first place? Will you lose your grace? innocence? emotional beauty? purity?
I'm quite attracted to purity. I believe in pure words and pure feelings, black and white morality, which becomes grey when there is no doctrine but one's own to guide the way. Is the superficial life a good one? Can a deep person connect to a shallow one in a level more than physical? Is there anything more than aesthetics? Does thinking too much automatically depress you? Are those who are happy those who decide to live in a purely shallow level? No desire to grow mentally and emotionally... is adventure in our heads or our bodies? Should we be trying to find a balance?
Right now I am stuck, not quite able to find myself. I know I am Colombian, I think as such in many ways, judging people quite often, realizing that most are not even worth knowing. I am also friendly but aloof, ready to stop. I find promiscuity to be disguting and social classes an unavoidable reality. I find beauty in many things and I enjoy partying, but I am constantly trying to find meaning to everything I do. I realize partying, for people in a country so screwed up, with no particular dreams or hopes, the every day life is what keeps us so happy. It is the enjoyment of good stable friendships and the kindness of strangers.
I know I am American. Hard to admit, yet true. I am quite cynical and I see people for their skin colour, I am acceptant of every realigion and type of person yet mantain my purely skeptical view. I am sometimes closeminded as to what truly happens in the world. and most of all, I am quite naive.
I am not European. I thought I was. I thought I could have similar views, taste for culture, of seeing the world, of being open-minded, of speaking various languages and like people for who they are in spite color, race, class, nationality... I dont have a taste for the exotic. Europeans search exotiqueness and they find it often in less developed countries, whether it be in Asia, Africa or South America. I share their love for good food and good wine and traveling, that is for sure. But the fact that it is acceptabale to live like an adolecsent up until your mid thirties is depressing to me, as well as libertine way of looking at love and lust, the lack of passion, the lack of flavor.
That's what they come searching for here, let them find it.
Trying to find oneself is not an easy thing. Sometimes I wake up feeling exitentential, like today, and so I write, and I think, and I speak way too much. I am also good at appreciating my very perfect life. Purpose? Nobody knows it yet. Happiness? It's a way of living, not a destination. Moral grounds? Love is love, hate is hate, no betrayals, no lies, no misconceptions and no corruption. This is something I hope stays with me no matter where I go, no matter who I meet, no matter how much I live, I am never going to lose that small part of myself that I finally got to find. Happily, I feel much more mature and stable, much more of a complete person, than many who are older than me. Does age truly bring you wisdom or are those who are wise born with the trait., and those who enjoy swiming in ignorance doomed to drown in it?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
La zona cafetera
I thought I should write about my weekend, because sitting at the office right now, I can't concentrate at all. Is it the extreme exhaustion? Or the fact that it was such an amazing trip that in my head I'm still there? Who knows... but let's write.
The troopers: Jens, a German guy I met here in Bogota, Torsten, his visiting friend, Cami, my best friend, and well, me.
Destination: The Coffee Zone.
Mode of Transportation: Flota, translating to "very-dangerous-bus"
Day 1.
We left on Thursday at 3:30 in the afternoon, and enjoyed a nine-hour bus ride! It was quite decent though, since we sat in the front, the c
hairs were very nice and comfortable, and the driver, a careful one. The German guys had wanted to go by plane, but the only way Cami could come on the trip was if we took the bus, and it was a fantastic idea. The view of the mountains, the sky, the crops, was so beautiful it became almost romantic. We got to Armenia at around midnight, having slept slightly and being extremely excited. There was a foreshadowing of it being a quite fantastic weekend.
Casa Jardin Zen
What made our short trip a memorable one was our decision to change where we spent the night on each night. We arrived to the Casa Jardin Zen pretty late, but were so awed by its beauty that we stayed up for a while, just going up and down the stairs, trying unsuccessfully to go outside, checking out all the rooms and their unique design... Cami and I went to sleep while the German boys went to a nearby and empty bar to look for a mojito.
Oh wait. Before going to sleep we did definetely get attacked by a huge spider... ok not attacked, but it was freaking us out as much as possible just by crawling on the other side of the room. It crawled out the balcony, and we were happy. Already in bed cami tickled me in a spider kind of way and my reflex was to smack her in the arm, quite hard I must say.
Sorry Cami, I really don't like spiders.
Day 2
I got woken up by the crowing of a rooster at... nine? Maybe it was a hangover rooster who woke up to late to crow... who knows. It was still a wonderful way to wake up. Cami and I started taking pictures of our magnificent view from our room in the second floor. Mountains... again, as green as they could get. It was quite the honeymoon sweet. We went down to wake up the guys and have some breakfeast. The owner of the house, who is called "La Mona", was certainly mad at us for being so loud the night before, but we won her over with our charm and she ended up helping us quite a bit. After taking a shower in a bathroom where anyone in the living room could see me with my head full of foam, we left, on to negotiate a day with a cab driver to he would take is to the Valle de Cocora.
El Valle
It took us some time to get up there, but once we did, it was oh-so worth it. The palm trees are called "palmas
de cera" and they are the Colombian national tree. There are only six species in existence, five are in Colombia, and four in this valley. It is really one of the most beautiful landscapes I've ever seen. Right there we ate some trout that had been fished in the nearby river, with patacones., Yuuuum. good stuff. Then the driver took us to where we would be staying our second night, The Hippie Hilton. And no, I'm not kidding. This was the name.
Hippie Hilton
Georgio, the owner, welcomed us with a big hug and many crazy things, including his museum of meteorites and other archeological discoveries, and the bed where Simon Bolivar spent a couple of nights. He also had a couple of snakes, the mice to feed them, and a litter of newborn golden retrievers. Our sort-of-tent was one of many, each of them with a different theme. One resembled and amazon-type cabin, the other, a trailer, and there was one filled with glow-in-the-dark stickers. Ours, was decorated with records and Beatles posters, had a hammock, a water bed, a rustic kitchen and a small fridge. The toilet was separated from the rest of the room only by a piece of cloth. The shower was outside, and it only reached up to the shoulders. The river, only steps away, could lull us into sleep. After hanging out for a while in this very trippy place, we went to the nearby town of Salento to buy ourselves some dinner. We arrived to this town in a small bus, walked around, had some beers in the town square, and went to a very Colombian slaughter house to get our well-deserved-dead cow. After waiting a long time for a bus, we got back to the Hilton, Jens marinated the beef while Torsten started the fire and Cami and I just took pictures. :) The night was awesome, a little cold but quite sureal.
Day 3
El Parque del Cafe
After some laughs while each of one took showers and the others attempted to take pictures, we decided to go back to Armenia to the bus terminal, so we could get to El Parque Del Cafe. When we finally got there we decided we didn't want to go on any attractions, since we know that there are far better ones in other parts of the world, but the coffee experience was well needed. We went on the cable car up and down, walked some trails through bamboos and coffee plants, Torsten got bit by humongous ants and Cami and I tried to teach them about rural legends. Then we had lunch at a very-touristic-therefore-not-so-good place where Jens made Torsten eat a Bandeja Paisa. It is a Colombian dish, typical from the area, that has beans, ground beef, pork, sausage, rice etc. Torsten hated it.
Canopy
After such a suculent lunch we went to do Canopy, and we had a great time climbing up trees (with ladders jaja) and then launching of with pulleys to the next tree. A Tarzan-like experience, giving un a great view of plaintain crops and bamboo dwellings. It took and hour. We were exhausted. We had FUN.
Delirio
Our last stay in another century. We arrived to this huge hacienda, filled with antiques and paintings, with a nice pool and too many rooms. After taking a dip in the pool we got ready and set off to Montenegro for a night of adventuuureee. After looking for a decent place to eat, a little beggar kid took us to a decent place where we ate some more trucha. After this, we went off to find a party spot. Everyone in this little town stared at us, since well, we were speaking in English and Jens is probably the blondest person many of them had ever seen. We went inside a small club, had some drinks, Cami and Torsten got attacked by the local people (With kindness I must say.. many of them wondering where we were from and if they wanted to spend the night at their house) and after not much more of this we took a cab back to the delirio. Then, we sat by the pool, looked at the stars, talked for a couple of hours and went to sleep in our huge rooms, of the huge, fancy house, that was certainly haunted.
Day 4
The last day of our trip. We had a good breakfeast in Delirio's huge dining room, and then headed off to Armenia to meet with Jens' mentor and his very mexican wife. They are quite a fantastic couple, and I noticed how happy they were, and how long they had been together. I wish that fate for each and every one of us. We had ajiaco for lunch with the same fantastic view that we had the first day from the Casa Jardin Zen. Then it was time for us to go on the bus, this trip only taking 6 hours, because our driver was a little deranged. It seemed longer though, because of our lack of AC. Good trip, good times.
The troopers: Jens, a German guy I met here in Bogota, Torsten, his visiting friend, Cami, my best friend, and well, me.
Destination: The Coffee Zone.
Mode of Transportation: Flota, translating to "very-dangerous-bus"
Day 1.
We left on Thursday at 3:30 in the afternoon, and enjoyed a nine-hour bus ride! It was quite decent though, since we sat in the front, the c
hairs were very nice and comfortable, and the driver, a careful one. The German guys had wanted to go by plane, but the only way Cami could come on the trip was if we took the bus, and it was a fantastic idea. The view of the mountains, the sky, the crops, was so beautiful it became almost romantic. We got to Armenia at around midnight, having slept slightly and being extremely excited. There was a foreshadowing of it being a quite fantastic weekend.Casa Jardin Zen
What made our short trip a memorable one was our decision to change where we spent the night on each night. We arrived to the Casa Jardin Zen pretty late, but were so awed by its beauty that we stayed up for a while, just going up and down the stairs, trying unsuccessfully to go outside, checking out all the rooms and their unique design... Cami and I went to sleep while the German boys went to a nearby and empty bar to look for a mojito.
Oh wait. Before going to sleep we did definetely get attacked by a huge spider... ok not attacked, but it was freaking us out as much as possible just by crawling on the other side of the room. It crawled out the balcony, and we were happy. Already in bed cami tickled me in a spider kind of way and my reflex was to smack her in the arm, quite hard I must say.
Sorry Cami, I really don't like spiders.
Day 2
I got woken up by the crowing of a rooster at... nine? Maybe it was a hangover rooster who woke up to late to crow... who knows. It was still a wonderful way to wake up. Cami and I started taking pictures of our magnificent view from our room in the second floor. Mountains... again, as green as they could get. It was quite the honeymoon sweet. We went down to wake up the guys and have some breakfeast. The owner of the house, who is called "La Mona", was certainly mad at us for being so loud the night before, but we won her over with our charm and she ended up helping us quite a bit. After taking a shower in a bathroom where anyone in the living room could see me with my head full of foam, we left, on to negotiate a day with a cab driver to he would take is to the Valle de Cocora.
El Valle
It took us some time to get up there, but once we did, it was oh-so worth it. The palm trees are called "palmas
de cera" and they are the Colombian national tree. There are only six species in existence, five are in Colombia, and four in this valley. It is really one of the most beautiful landscapes I've ever seen. Right there we ate some trout that had been fished in the nearby river, with patacones., Yuuuum. good stuff. Then the driver took us to where we would be staying our second night, The Hippie Hilton. And no, I'm not kidding. This was the name.Hippie Hilton
Georgio, the owner, welcomed us with a big hug and many crazy things, including his museum of meteorites and other archeological discoveries, and the bed where Simon Bolivar spent a couple of nights. He also had a couple of snakes, the mice to feed them, and a litter of newborn golden retrievers. Our sort-of-tent was one of many, each of them with a different theme. One resembled and amazon-type cabin, the other, a trailer, and there was one filled with glow-in-the-dark stickers. Ours, was decorated with records and Beatles posters, had a hammock, a water bed, a rustic kitchen and a small fridge. The toilet was separated from the rest of the room only by a piece of cloth. The shower was outside, and it only reached up to the shoulders. The river, only steps away, could lull us into sleep. After hanging out for a while in this very trippy place, we went to the nearby town of Salento to buy ourselves some dinner. We arrived to this town in a small bus, walked around, had some beers in the town square, and went to a very Colombian slaughter house to get our well-deserved-dead cow. After waiting a long time for a bus, we got back to the Hilton, Jens marinated the beef while Torsten started the fire and Cami and I just took pictures. :) The night was awesome, a little cold but quite sureal.
Day 3
El Parque del Cafe
After some laughs while each of one took showers and the others attempted to take pictures, we decided to go back to Armenia to the bus terminal, so we could get to El Parque Del Cafe. When we finally got there we decided we didn't want to go on any attractions, since we know that there are far better ones in other parts of the world, but the coffee experience was well needed. We went on the cable car up and down, walked some trails through bamboos and coffee plants, Torsten got bit by humongous ants and Cami and I tried to teach them about rural legends. Then we had lunch at a very-touristic-therefore-not-so-good place where Jens made Torsten eat a Bandeja Paisa. It is a Colombian dish, typical from the area, that has beans, ground beef, pork, sausage, rice etc. Torsten hated it.
Canopy
After such a suculent lunch we went to do Canopy, and we had a great time climbing up trees (with ladders jaja) and then launching of with pulleys to the next tree. A Tarzan-like experience, giving un a great view of plaintain crops and bamboo dwellings. It took and hour. We were exhausted. We had FUN.
Delirio
Our last stay in another century. We arrived to this huge hacienda, filled with antiques and paintings, with a nice pool and too many rooms. After taking a dip in the pool we got ready and set off to Montenegro for a night of adventuuureee. After looking for a decent place to eat, a little beggar kid took us to a decent place where we ate some more trucha. After this, we went off to find a party spot. Everyone in this little town stared at us, since well, we were speaking in English and Jens is probably the blondest person many of them had ever seen. We went inside a small club, had some drinks, Cami and Torsten got attacked by the local people (With kindness I must say.. many of them wondering where we were from and if they wanted to spend the night at their house) and after not much more of this we took a cab back to the delirio. Then, we sat by the pool, looked at the stars, talked for a couple of hours and went to sleep in our huge rooms, of the huge, fancy house, that was certainly haunted.
Day 4
The last day of our trip. We had a good breakfeast in Delirio's huge dining room, and then headed off to Armenia to meet with Jens' mentor and his very mexican wife. They are quite a fantastic couple, and I noticed how happy they were, and how long they had been together. I wish that fate for each and every one of us. We had ajiaco for lunch with the same fantastic view that we had the first day from the Casa Jardin Zen. Then it was time for us to go on the bus, this trip only taking 6 hours, because our driver was a little deranged. It seemed longer though, because of our lack of AC. Good trip, good times.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I curse Murphy's Law
So I decided to leave.
For the past month I have been pondering, asking people for advice, and pretty much just driving myself insane trying to decide whether I should stay in Bogota in this pretty cool internship that I am at, or go back to the "ville" to study my ass off. I decided that I am a student and I should act as such, since I have the rest of my life to be in an office working. So I will be back in the small Gainesville, enjoying Gator football (and my last chance at understanding the game before I graduate), campaigning for Obama, even though I cannot vote, and having some crazy adventures.
So thanks to those who helped me make my decision. In the end it was a matter of where would I be learning more. In Semana I had a position I would like to have when I graduate and become a full-time employee. But I wasn't going to be doing anything journalistic, nor learning any new skills. And I only have three semesters at most at the ville. So I shall go back, and enjoy the anonymous life of a poor college student and party-up.
Be ready.
For the past month I have been pondering, asking people for advice, and pretty much just driving myself insane trying to decide whether I should stay in Bogota in this pretty cool internship that I am at, or go back to the "ville" to study my ass off. I decided that I am a student and I should act as such, since I have the rest of my life to be in an office working. So I will be back in the small Gainesville, enjoying Gator football (and my last chance at understanding the game before I graduate), campaigning for Obama, even though I cannot vote, and having some crazy adventures.
So thanks to those who helped me make my decision. In the end it was a matter of where would I be learning more. In Semana I had a position I would like to have when I graduate and become a full-time employee. But I wasn't going to be doing anything journalistic, nor learning any new skills. And I only have three semesters at most at the ville. So I shall go back, and enjoy the anonymous life of a poor college student and party-up.
Be ready.
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